TL;DR: I really, really, really don’t wanna do my life, especially without instructors and syllabi directing my every move. Unfortunately I kinda have to, because chronologically speaking I’m an adult, and no one else is gonna do it for me. So as incentive to do the terrifying things that make me pee myself, I am also going to do exciting and fun things.
I am finding it very difficult to adjust to life without the extremely rigid structure imposed by my Nursing Degree. I find that, while I have seemingly endless tasks to complete, I have very few real goals.
I should specify that for me, goals are concrete and measurable outcomes that can be achieved within a predetermined timeline. Applying for a job is a task. Applying for the New-Grad position on A5 by Wednesday is a goal.
So I suppose step one is to set myself some goals, yes?
Well, fine, but… what if I don’t wanna do step one? Step one is hard. It requires estimating my own capabilities, self-imposing deadlines I don’t know if I can meet, making decisions about priorities. Ugh. Really, don’t wanna.
So let’s sweeten the deal.
Of course I will have to go about setting goals for finding a job, writing the NCLEX, fixing up the house, finishing the book. Those are inescapable, and non-negotiable. But since I am being forced to DM this campaign, I get to choose the adventures, and I say they need MORE TURTLES. And yes, that’s a Dungeons&Dragons reference. I am unapologetically geeky about many things and D&D happens to be one of them. Also turtles. I like turtles.
This is Calvin.
He was my three-toed box turtle. He was old, and such a jerk, and one of the best pets I ever had.
He was a crazy picky eater. When I first got him I gave him a mix of cantaloupe and honeydew melon, diced up into teeeeny tiny cubes. Calvin picked out every piece of honeydew there was, and left the cantaloupe untouched. He loved worms and bananas, so to get him to eat his greens I had to roll them in mashed banana all the time.
He loved bright colours and would emerge unblinking and stern-faced from his shelter to supervise any laundry folding that took place near his tank. He loved the little pond in the backyard, and gladly spent every second of his outside-adventure-time floating among the goldfish and the waterlilies.
Calvin was an amazing character. When he died, the loss I felt was just as painful as when I lost my cat Phoebs, with whom I’d grown up. I will never, ever have another Calvin.
But there are other little box turtles out there. Unique, quirky little creatures with their own personalities. I would very much like to share the same kind of one-sided, entirely unrequited love I had for Calvin with one of them someday.
How do I make that happen? What enjoyable, rewarding, non-crippling-fear-inducing goals can I set to get me closer to the cold, scrapey, uncooperative embrace of my new/future reptile friend?
The super exciting (not at all sarcastic, I am actually super excited) answer to that question is, of course, worms. Also weeds. I need to get worms and weeds.
One of the main problems reptiles face in captivity (especially during our Canadian winters) is poor diet. Having a steady supply of fresh worms and dandelion or clover leaves goes a long way toward laying a proper nutritional foundation, that can then be supplemented with all kinds of weird and wonderful treats.
By the end of the week I would like to have a bin set up for my vermicompost and a planter set up for my weeds. Within two weeks I’d like to have worms wiggling and plants sprouting.
Boom. Hashtag GOALS.